Personal Essays: One Woman's Story
by Jennifer Brandt
When a graduate school professor of mine who was undergoing IVF treatment while I was her graduate assistant approached me about the possibility of donating to her, I thought about it and discussed it with my husband, but ultimately decided that I was not comfortable with donating eggs to such a close friend.
But as she progressed through efforts to secure an egg donor, I asked a lot of questions. I did some research online and found the ConceiveAbilities website. I read Nazca's words carefully and was inspired. I wanted to help a woman like my professor to feel the pure joy that I felt when I looked at my son (who was born while I was in graduate school). After careful consideration, I decided that anonymous egg donation would be the way for me to give such a wonderful gift to another family.
Driving to my first meeting, I was nervous and excited. Once I arrived, however, Alicia—a licensed professional counselor at ConceiveAbilities—immediately made me feel comfortable. Alicia explained the entire process from beginning to end, including both the physical and emotional aspects of egg donation. At the conclusion of our meeting, she told me to think about everything carefully. While I felt needed and appreciated, I also felt respected.
Knowing that ConceiveAbilities respected my body, my feelings and my effort really helped me make this commitment. Their constant phone calls, handwritten notes and genuine care throughout the entire process made me feel safe.
The process of actually taking medication and then undergoing an egg retrieval was a matter of weeks. It was slightly uncomfortable, but not much more than premenstrual cramps. My level of discomfort certainly didn't prevent me from subsequent donations. When I considered the outcome, my time and discomfort seemed unbelievably minimal.
Afterward, I received several notes and cards from the different recipient couples that touched my heart. From simple words of thanks to letters explaining their current family situations and what a child would bring to their lives, their words made the process personal for me while remaining anonymous.
My family is the most important thing in my life. When I look at my boys, I can't imagine life without them. I believe that every woman should have the opportunity to feel a baby grow inside of her, if she chooses to do so. I am so blessed to be able to give this gift to another mother and father.
Jennifer Brandt is a 31-year-old mother of two (with another on the way!). Currently a stay-at-home mom and substitute teacher, she was previously an early childhood special education teacher and instructor at Northern Illinois University.
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