An unlikely partnership

January 25th, 2013

A recent New York Magazine article - "Gay Men and Christian Wombs" - tells the story of an unlikely partnership. What happens when a woman, raised in an environment that believes homosexuality is a sin, develops a personal and very unique relationship with a same-sex couple?

When Melissa, a woman from Texas who agreed to become a gestational carrier for a couple wanting to become dads, she didn’t realize the decision would also impact her views on religion, faith, and equality. While she had no issue helping them build a family, the hesitation - and often, downright disgust - she was met with in her community is evidence of a new kind of culture clash. It’s remarkable in its intellectual and physical juxtaposition. This new face of surrogacy is a fascinating picture of what can happen when someone steps outside of her comfort zone to help another in a profoundly intimate way.

According to one of the intended fathers Melissa carried for, “I had received more homophobia than he had in his life as an out gay man,” she says.

Tina from Idaho, who has been a surrogate several times for both straight and gay couples, found it best to be open from the start about the twins she was carrying: “They have two dads, and that is okay.” Her experience - and the fact that it gave a personal identity to the gay population - even prompted conservative friends to support gay rights.

As we see an increase in the number of men utilizing surrogacy to start their families, the beliefs of some of the women carrying the babies are challenged. It’s important to find matches that respect the needs of everyone involved. Regardless of a surrogate’s personal beliefs, we at ConceiveAbilities fully agree that these women are intelligent, take-charge do-ers whose thinking transcends cultural norms - their willingness to do a very basic yet altruistic act for someone else proves this.