Most gestational surrogacy matches involve intended parents and surrogates who are separated by hundreds or thousands of miles, and sometimes even on different continents. Even though you check in with your surrogate frequently and remain an active participant in the pregnancy and your baby’s prenatal care, we understand that the distance can sometimes seem insurmountable.
Here are some ideas to help you bond with your sweet little one across the miles.
Surrogates and intended parents often rave about Belly Buds. They allow intended parents to record messages for baby, and then the surrogate places the buds on her bump for baby to hear. Intended parents can compile a playlist of their favorite songs or lullabies, record themselves reading children’s books, or even a sweet message telling their baby how much they can’t wait for the delivery day. This is a wonderful way for baby to hear and respond to your voices from the beginning.
Open an email account for your soon-to-be bundle of joy. You, your partner, and even other family members can send messages to baby anytime day or night, which can act as a time capsule when your child is old enough to read them. You can include pictures or sound wave files from the ultrasounds, text or email excerpts from your conversations with your surrogate, and anything else that lets you feel like you’re writing to your child in the future. Think how surprised your child will be years from now when you present them with the password to this special email account that was created just for them.
Similarly, consider creating a scrapbook or journal for your baby. It doesn’t need to be intricate if you aren’t the crafty type, but it will allow you to capture your hopes, family values, and history- anything important to you as you prepare to meet your little one.
Consider planting a seed or a tree that will grow right along with baby during the pregnancy and after birth. You can think about playing games and reading books with your child under your tree, or even how much fun you’ll have cooking with them using herbs and vegetables from your garden. If there are certain spices and flavors you enjoy using yourself, ask your surrogate if she would be willing to occasionally incorporate those into her own meals. If you don’t have a green thumb or aren’t much of a chef, try creating something else for baby, like a knitted hat or blanket, or even something as simple as decorating a onesie with iron-on decals. You’ll be thinking of and sending baby love every time you use your hands.
No matter what you decide, there are many ways to feel close to a baby before birth. We encourage you to talk with your surrogate about some of her ideas as well; she may have suggestions you never even considered that will help you both focus on your little miracle and bridging the miles between you.
Check out our other post too, Gift Ideas for Intended Parents and Surrogates to find inspiration to show how much you appreciate your IP or GC as well.
All Things Conceivable is a blog dedicated to sharing the knowledge and expert opinions of the dedicated team at ConceiveAbilities, a Chicago-based egg donation and surrogacy agency.